Reader Question: Dining Alone?
Thursday, March 29, 2007 7:03
I received a great reader question about dining alone:
I like eating alone at home and I like eating out, except for some reason eating out alone for dinner just does not feel right and I just am not brave enough to do it as frequently as the urge strikes me (mostly after reading la.digesty). I do not know why. I do have friends and I eat out a few times a month, but some are married (three is totally a crowd), others are on a budget, some just like to go to the same places, and the rest I spend enough time with that any more would be too much.
What are peoples strategies for eating dinner out alone? Is there some way you choose a place to eat alone or not? Are there types of places you prefer to eat alone and others you would never eat alone at?
What do you do to pass the time between ordering and receiving your food? Is there anything else besides enjoying being quite and staring are your drink? I know I could bring something to read, but some places that does not seem appropriate. Do you tend to eat really quickly and just get out as fast as you can?
How often do you eat out alone? Any good/bad/funny experiences?
Sincerely,
Insecure Diner
Leave your response in the comments. I have a few things to say on this topic, I will add them below…
By Jonah (see more of his posts). Jonah is the founder of la.foodblogging and also created Digesty, a food blog aggregator and Cheww.com, a spam free foodblog search engine.
Taste-Buzz says:
March 29th, 2007 at 8:47 am
I don’t have an SO or a DH or any other cute abbreviation for someone I spend time beyond the restaurant walls. I can kind of see how someone would be a bit insecure to eat at a restaurant alone, but you quickly get over it once you start doing it more and more. This is especially easy to do in establishments that let you eat at the bar, where your attention to the bartender (or whatever station is there) occupies your time.
This is also easy to do in late-night dining situations, which is often the case for me. Ultimately in all scenarios, I’ve come to the conclusion that going out alone is a form of meditation, and sometimes you just need peace of mind to be able to pull it off.
Tina says:
March 29th, 2007 at 9:07 am
I take a book with me and take my sweet time having my dinner. Your eyes are occupied and not checking out the other patrons checking you out because, “oh my goodness; you’re out all alone” I did this in Vegas at a very shee-shee restaurant. If the service is good; they will leave you alone to enjoy your meal and your book.
erin says:
March 29th, 2007 at 9:22 am
I second the eat at the bar recommendation. I travel a lot for work and find this a great way to talk to locals–both the bartender and your fellow patrons. I sometimes bring something to read, which is a good way to discourage people from bugging you if you want to be left alone.
I will say there are some restaurants that just aren’t set up for single diners and it can be uncomfortable. Last fall I was in Boston at a lovely middle eastern place and while the staff was very welcoming, every other table around me was at least 4 people or more, I was in the center of a small room, and felt very much “on display”.
Stephanie says:
March 29th, 2007 at 10:08 am
If you are socially adventurous, there are websites that put together dinners with complete strangers who are looking to eat and chat and maybe even make friends! I post dinners on MyPeopleConnection.com sometimes and dinner events seem to be the most popular on the website. It’s a great way to get to places you can’t get your friends who aren’t as adventurous about food to go to. Plus, I’ve met some great people and made a ton of friends through that site. It’s free to join and they don’t spam you either.
Stephanie
amie says:
March 29th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
There are certain places I’ll eat at alone, like Whole Foods on my lunch hour or The Coffee Table. Cafe type places and usually only for lunch. I generally just stare into space and divert my eyes from people so that I am not forced into airplane conversation with anyone.
Jonah says:
March 29th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
For lunches, I enjoy eating alone, it’s a nice time to get out of the office and preferrably I can find somewhere outside to sit. Overall, lunching alone is pretty basic, I usually bring some reading material.
Dinner is a little different, especially for a formal restaurant. If there is a bar, as suggested above, that’s a good place to sit. I have a friend who eats at places like Ortalon on Third street all the time by himself, one thing he likes is that he also doesn’t feel obligated to order a huge meal.
If there isn’t a bar, I just sit at a table, although at a very nice place, I would feel a little ackward. When I am on business travel, I don’t mind so much because I don’t really have a choice. I still usually bring something to read and feel a little uneasy or exposed if I am just sitting there staring at my water glass.
It’s funny because when I see someone dining alone, I start to think “how sad…” but then I remember that I love eating alone and might even be eating alone right at that moment.
Jonah says:
March 29th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
p.s. The Nook Bistro is a good place to dine alone, either at the bar or the communal table.
Mike says:
March 29th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Eating lunch alone is nice, its a good change to try some place that you have not been without taking any changes someone else not liking it. I will often go get lunch alone often I will pick up one of those free local papers and read.
I have had dinner alone usually I will go some place smaller or with a counter (I like good burger once in awhile, those places usually have a counter).
Mom says:
March 29th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
I agree that lunching alone is pretty basic. I find dinner alone is pretty undaunting as well - for the most part. It is a bit of an adventure. I try to take command of the situation by asking to be seated at a table or in an area that appeals to me - by a window if available. I usually bring along a small sketch book where I might doodle, or list, or write a quick note to self or others. I might bring a magazine or book in some settings. It has been my experience that I often get special attention from wait staff and it is usually possibly to enlist them as a partner in seeing to it that I enjoy myself. I find myself open to conversations with other diners and sort of enjoy the thought that they might be thinking something like “why is that woman dining alone?”. Realistically, they probably hardly notice!
D says:
March 30th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
I love a good restraunt and the only thing that would discourage me from eating alone at one is if it was a “romantic” atmosphere OR a “brunch” type of place. I’ve done everything from a cafe to an elegant restraunt. My security blanket is my book, but you can always put it down and chit-chat with others if the mood strikes you. If you feel uncomfortable with where they seat you, by all means ask them to move you. You are there to ENJOY yourself so make sure YOU are COMFORTABLE! :)
H.C. says:
March 30th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
I’d wager half my dining excursions (particularly first-time at pricier places that I would feel bad for dragging my friends to if it were a miss) are dining alone experiences.
The bar & the book are good strategies (as well as non-dinners, which tend to have shorter lag times). I usually bring along a BlackBerry too to catch up on news & to scribble notes about the place.
It’s also a good opportunity to break out your organizer and clean up your schedules & plans.
Tyrese says:
March 31st, 2007 at 2:22 pm
u kno jus go ahead n do it man. it real nothin onec u sit down u kno what i mean. cuz u kno the foods is comin and the smell is all around u right? its all about eatin, cuz all ur worries just go away once ur foods come!
Tyrese
Kiki Maraschino says:
April 1st, 2007 at 3:21 am
I also see a big difference between breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Only dinner can be uncomfortable and only at fancy places. I am aggressively friendly, so I often chat with employees when they are not busy, and sometimes other diners. Now that I am writing blogs, I usually occupy myself by observing everything and composing my blogs in my head.
Leigh says:
April 3rd, 2007 at 7:09 am
I travel extensively and most of the time grab a qwik bite at a drive thru or breakfast usually is served at the Hotel.
Since I work for a restaurant chain–and no one doesnt wish to eat there ALL the time I go out to a nice place for dinner once in awhile, At first one feels uncomfortable, however,I take this opportunity to introduce myself to either the staff or owner/operator.
When it comes right down to it…..no one else cares that we are eating “alone” we are the ones that do! So enjoy!