The answer is obvious: it is at the dumbest time you could imagine.

“How,” ask the managers who plan the farmer’s market, “should we choose a time to ensure the least amount of foot traffic and exposure?”

“How about the mitigating hours between lunch and the time everyone gets out of work…say, 2pm to 7pm.”

“Brilliant idea! Someone could potentially work years in Culver City, and never actually see us.”

“Stealth, sir. Its the new marketing trend.”

Everyone was wrong where I work. It doesn’t start at 2pm, that is the setup time. It starts at 3pm. I promise to dig deeper into this. There must be some archaic Culver City ordinance that prohibits religious ceremonies from occurring before 3pm on a weekday, and because some bread vendor bakes his pretzels in the shape of a cross they were legally prohibited from calling themselves a secular farmer’s market. I don’t know.

Yet, I went there for the first time yesterday, and for its tiny size there is a dense offering of good food. Certainly, it is dwarfed by the Hollywood and Santa Monica juggernauts, but I could see it being a great convenience market for all the studio drones to pick up a few things while on late, late, late lunch…or happy hour.

One thing I like about this farmer’s market is that it is not just relegated to strictly produce, there is a Hawaiian grilled chicken stand where the smoke curls around and tugs you by the nostrils. At the very end is a cheese purveyor with a fine variety of artisan cheese that, granted, I could get at Whole Foods…but sometimes the venue adds mytique and richness to food. There is a meat and sausage maker, a seafood monger, and a couple of nut guys.

There are also the requisite hippie products like natural soaps, cleansers and candles. Normally I don’t go for the woodstock contingent, but I like the offbeat scents that local providers can come up with.

Comprising the remaining 50% are the produce farmers, bringing their seasonal best to the table. Colors look vibrant, lettuce appears crisp. Fruits are waxed to perfection. There were some great heirloom tomatoes, with their fantastic character. It reinforces my belief that heirlooms are poised to make a huge splash on the culinary landscape…despite their cretinous and loathsome deformities.

One unique item, the only thing I bought, was a pretzel baguette. I didn’t have the sense of forethought to actually remember the guy’s name because I would like to give him mention (when I’m eating, it never occurs to me I might be writing about it later). He has all manner of snacky breads, cakey cakes, sugar balls and cheesy dings. There were some great pretzel rolls that were erupting with cheddar cheese.

I bought the batard, and I had never seen a pretzel as large as a body pillow. Like a car driving on a Vermont highway in winter, it was liberally covered in rock salt. Fantastic! I love salt. He had a great variety of other baked goods, but I was trying to eat light.

Despite its awkward timing, it is so small you can really compress what would normally be a meandering hour long Sunday tour into fifteen minutes. You can eat [late] lunch and do some shopping all in one stroke. The other benefit to the farmer’s market is the vibrancy it brings to Main Street. All the shops spring to life, antique shops put out their furniture, shop owners stand outside to smoke and bitch…it really brings this sleepy stretch of road to life. If you need an asymmetrical haircut or misconceived dye job, the Beauty College right there. You can wait for your perm to set while gnawing on a fresh carrot or something.

Culver City Farmer’s Market
Main Street between Venice and Culver
Tuesdays, 3pm-7pm

Well, I finally made it out to the Wat Thai market on the weekend. It’s a pretty, serene place of stalls and picnic tables alongside a Buddhist Temple. The food here is fairly basic, and I have to admit, I wasn’t feeling too adventurous, so I stuck to the foods I know. The Pad Thai was delicious; employing these thin — almost capellini — noodles along with the usual green onion slivers, tofu, chicken, bean sprouts and egg.

We dined on spring rolls and chicken satay. Alas, there was no peanut sauce to be found. But the satay sticks were extremely tasty on their own. They were served with that sweet and spicy chilli sauce.

We also got a pot of minced chicken larb, which was kind of fiery, but then again I am a light-weight when it comes to spicy foods.

 

I didn’t sample the Green papaya salad, but I’m told it was delicious (this, from a friend who’d never had it before.) She also purchased some little pork dumplings that were cold and presumably had been steamed earlier. They were wrapped in that sticky, doughy but light white wrapping and they were quite sweet and delicious.

Not a lot of vegetable options around, at all. Lots of fish balls and chicken dishes.

For me, the highlight was the mango and sticky rice which came with a small pot of coconut sauce. The mango was pre-sliced and very, very ripe and golden orange in colour. The rice was not too sweet and dressed with little, nutty bean seeds (?)

All in all, I was a little disappointed by the absence of curries and the lack of peanut sauce, but I’d return for the mango in a heartbeat. It’s okay for me; it’s not such a pilgrimage to head north into the Valley. If you’re coming from further than 20 mins away, I don’t know if it’s worth the drive.

They’ll be having a festival there soon, so I might go back for that.

Thai Market
Sat & Sun 10 - 6

Wat Thai Buddhist Temple [East San Fernando Valley]
8225 Coldwater Canyon Ave, sth of Roscoe
North Hollywood 91605
818-785-9552

Just wanted to give all you fellow epicureans a heads up about next weekends Sunset Junction Music Festival in Silverlake. Actually, I also consider it a food festival. They’ll have local band performances as well as vendors selling yummy festival fare. Last year, had some bratwurst, philly cheese steaks, thai food. Basically, it’s good comfort food. Buy the food and sit over at the brewery right near Hyperion. I had a blast last year. Only $9.99 for entrance.

The official word from a Muginoho USA exec today is that the Beard Papa’s Sweets Cafe, destined for the Hollywood and Highland Center, is on hold until mid-September.

Yes, originally we were given the official date as sometime from late-July to mid-August. Sadly, Beard Papa’s has permitting issues gumming up the works.

But hey, when has a restaurant ever opened in a timely fashion in this town?

The H&H Center site recently added a small write-up about Beard Papa’s, and it at least conveys the illusion that the ball is rolling:

Beard Papa’s Sweets Cafe will open on the grand staircase in (mid) September. When the Japanese chain opened its first two American Outlets in New York (last) spring, lines for the popular pastires began snaking around the block. The cafe’s speciality is light, crispy cream puffs, filled to order on a mini assembly line with a mixture of whipped cream and (Madagascar) vanilla bean custard, then dusted with confectioners’ sugar.

When Beard Papa’s does throw open its doors, prepare to meet the maker, one Yuji Hirota, the original “double-layer” puff inventor. Hirota is scheduled to attend the opening during which time the company is also planning some free giveaways in order to thank Hollywood cream puff fans for our undying love, support and patience. Just choux me, already! Please.

Opps. One more thing. I hate to be a grinch, but for those of you who have been telling your pals that Beard Papa’s really does exist, check this, straight from the lips of Minoru Inagaki, president of the U.S. division of Japanese conglomerate Muginoho which owns Beard Papa’s:

When our company’s founder, Mr. Yuji Hirota, created our logo, he wanted to choose something that would bring people the cheerful, energetic mood associated with the Christmas holidays. So he chose a Santa-like character, but then changed the color of his outfit from red to yellow to signify that you can be in a joyful holiday mood all year at Beard Papa’s.

I kinda enjoyed being in the company of the disciples’ “pure heartsâ€? and “good attitudes,â€? and I admired the gentle (if often ecstatic) commitment to happiness and honesty. The incessant chanting and drumming I suppose I was less keen on… But after things quieted down, the recitations from the Bhagavad Gita worked like a charm to get me into a philosophical mood, albeit from the vantage point of a skeptical freebie-grubbing teen.

However, what I really loved about the Sunday feasts, and the reason I walked 20+ blocks to get there, was for the gratis, heaping plates of puris, pushpanna rice, samosas, pakoras, subjis, and mango lassis.

That’s why I’m blogging about the 29th annual Festival of the Chariots. It’s a teeny give back for all those free meals with no strings attached. This SoCal Hare Krishna celebration includes a parade, a free feast and live entertainment, near Venice Beach this Sunday, Aug. 7th.

The procession begins at 10 a.m. at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium, 1855 Main St., Santa Monica and ends up near Ocean Front Walk and Windward Avenue in Venice, where the afternoon festivities begin. Once it reaches Venice, the festival will feature a free feast (20,000 plates prepared in the Krishna tradition) and three stages of live entertainment that includes drummers, sword fighters, Indian dance performance, drama and “mantra rock.” There will be exhibits on yoga and meditation, reincarnation, spirituality, vegetarianism and animal rights.

Mantra rock? You know you want to hear that. But be forewarned, this event is attended by up to 50,000 other pilgrims ISO free samosas. And if you’re not a Krishna fan, at least you know now to stay the hell away from the parade route Sunday.

More information here.

29th Annual Festival of the Chariots
Sunday, Aug. 7th
10AM - late afternoon
Starts in Santa Monica, ends near Ocean Front Walk/Winward Ave. in Venice
FREE FOOD!

If you’re looking for street food this weekend, head east.
Official Website

A friend’s date dropped out last minute so I got an invitation to the Herbie Fully Loaded premiere Sunday.

We were given Herbie 53 caps and 30 SPF sunblock at guest check-in (how very Disney, a pre-emptive strike against melanoma litigation). Inside we grabbed bottled drinks and tubs of Herbie popcorn festooned with LiLo’s winking face. Up in the balcony I asked an ancient usher about an engraved locket that she was wearing. Turns out it was a gold-plated Love Bug premiere locket from 1968. Buddy Hackett, baby-faced son of a Brooklyn upholsterer, Who loves you more than SoCalorie?

For some reason Larry King kept standing up and gesticulating at the ushers before the movie started. Cool it on the ushers, King. They’re not walkie-talkie-ing the projectionist on your behalf. But I went for the eats, and since there are no pivotal food scenes in Herbie, let’s cut to the after-party.

Any major food brands not represented on Herbie’s red carpet “finish line”… Let’s see… Great Steak & Potato Co., Chipotle, Hamburger Hamlet, Subway, Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, Hot Dog On A Stick, Pringles, Dole and Heinz — check.

Sadly, the Goodyear tires, illuminating NASCAR mechanic’s gloves, and various branded baseball caps and t-shirts were inedible, I tried.

I’m assuming that one of the two huge meat lockers guarding LiLo & Co. was good ol’ Dean, whom she reportedly name-checked on Leno after imitating Cruise’s couch conniption. Her cordoned-off table was littered with uneaten Dole fruit, blondies, a hot dog, water and a small army of Coca-Cola Zeros. A celebubrand who’s wasting away from lack of interest in food? Not alot of love from the foodies, sorry pal. But that Angela Robinson sure knows how serve up the girl-power comedies. I’ll bet she loves food.

List o’ free stuff: Many cans of Herbie-emblazoned Pringles (MSG but no Olestra — craps!); inflatable miniature Goodyear blimps; NASCAR gloves with tiny 10,000 lumens bulbs on the pointer fingers (so you can grill burgers on your manifold in a rolling black-out); bigger than a Matchbox Kinsmart 1967 Beetle with opening doors; Subway peppermint after sandwich mints (eat fresh); a “framed” Kodak moment in front of Herbie; Hot Dog On A Stick styrofoam cap.

Next month… The Island. I hear there’s a scene featuring ScarJo and a few illicit strips of bacon.

See, tofu has gone all-American. As much as non-vegetarins make fun of them, we’re all familir with tofuburgers, but the thing that was new to me was this tofu bratwurst. It very much looked like a brat, but it sure didn’t taste like a brat. It didn’t snap on the outside, and the texture was a little dry and gummy, which isn’t like tofu anyway. Not sure if it’s already out there, but maybe tofurky (the brand) needs to re-work the recipe before hitting the market.

I love tofu, and grew up eating it in ma-po doo-boo (diced tofu braised in spicy sauce), soon doo-boo jjigae (spicy soft tofu hot pot), and as various types of bahn-chan (side dishes). I’m not a vegetarian (though, yes, I went through that phase as well - what can I say, I spent a few years in Berkeley), so I don’t eat it as a replacement for animal protein; I just eat it because it’s tofu. All the interesting incarnations of tofu that are out there are creative, but at the end of the day, I’ll take tofu as it is, and eat a hotdog made of meat. And the only way flowers get to my table are as centerpieces.

Late night eats on Hollywood Blvd.
(Debbie Reynolds’ star is so best located.)

Skooby’s
6654 Hollywood Blvd.
Hollywood, CA 90028
323.hot.dogs

The most action-packed food-related excerpts:

As the uniformed officers rush into the alley, there are a few screams, the sound of shopping carts flipping over and the sudden smell of burning oil. When the officers appear, many of the food vendors simply abandon their wares, which are stocked in old shopping buggies and baby carriages. Some attempt to stash their goods on store roofs.

Others try to grab as much as they can carry in their arms and run, though several vendors drop some of their goods. Packages of meat, sour cream and green peppers fall to the pavement. The result is a trail of smashed food. “It doesn’t smell too good, does it?” Smith says after the mass exit.

No, officer, it sure doesn’t!

As things calm down, the group of burly police and BID helps load the “product,” as it’s called, into an open-topped truck that will take it to a dump. First in are the vats of grease, followed by the flattop stoves and then the coolers packed with chunks of ice. Food, some of it rotten, is spilling everywhere.

How hungry is everyone right now? Coates also wrote an interesting story last week about the Daily Grill’s $2M investment in it’s new restaurant on Flower downtown.

Photo credit: Gary Leonard, Los Angeles Downtown News